My dear brother, Brendan, had the good fortune to fall in love with Wambui, a Kikuyu woman who has a laugh that bubbles up like spring water. My family met her mother, aunt, and youngest brother a year ago, before the two were engaged and we immediately liked them. We didn't really know what to expect when it came to our two cultures participating in a wedding ceremony, though. We knew that traditional approaches in the US and Kenya are very different, but there hadn't really been a chance to talk about these things since they live in Nairobi.
On the eve of the wedding, after the rehearsal dinner, we congregated at Wambui and Brendan's place to surprise the bride. Many Kenyan family members and friends had arrived that day, and their home was filled nearly to the brim. With serious bridesmaid power (yea Jackie and Daphne!) we were able to play a couple of games, including one where all the young women cover up in kangas, and the groom has to figure out who his bride is just by looking. The joke is that the first woman the groom picks is supposed to be the one he marries. To Brendan's embarrassment and everyone else' amusement, he picked me first; his face went a nice shade of beet. It took him four tries to figure out which one was Wambui. Baba Wambui is a funny guy, so he made Brendan explain why each woman he incorrectly picked should not be his bride, starting with me.
After that activity, we got in a circle and Beatrice (Wambui's cousin) led us in singing two different call-and-response style songs; she did a great job off-the-cuff! I was lucky to be standing next to Nyokabi, who has serious dancing skills, so I stared at her feet, clapped my hands, and tried to pick up the Kikuyu lyrics. In one of the songs, family members get called on to come dance in the middle of the circle of singers...I was surprised when I got called. Luckily, middle schoolers have taught me how to let go of inhibitions, and I got myself right in there to do my best.
There was so much love in the house: hugs, genuine joy in the meeting of relatives that hadn't seen each other in years, last meetings recounted with astonishment at how much time had passed, friends reunited across continents, and spilling over onto my family an open-hearted welcome of kinship. We weren't just plugging Brendan and Wambui into new families, we were stepping into an extended family for all of us! I felt as much acceptance, without question, as I have ever felt in my life from a group of people. There was no awkwardness, no sense of trying to fit in (even if my dance moves aren't all the way there yet). What a blessing! Surely a sign of God's presence in the midst of people who would normally be nothing more than strangers. I count myself beyond lucky to have so many new friends and family.
On the day of the wedding, I felt joy pulse through me as I was blessed to take part in singing Kikuyu wedding songs to the bride and groom. My mom recorded the video below. I hope you can feel the love, too.
