Sweetness Follows

When I walked into Skip's Records a few days ago, the first songs off Reckoning were playing. Well, R.E.M.'s broken up, so it makes sense to throw on a classic album. I hadn't been into the store for a while, so there were lots of nooks of vinyl to investigate; while in the rock section I found myself flipping through records, singing

So don't go back to Rockvi-i-i-lle!!

Good times. I'm digging this album, cause it pretty much rocks.

In easy listening, absentmindedly- and accompanied by involuntary head movement-

Seven Chinese brothers swallowing the ocean

Seven thousand years to sleep away the pain

And then, in classical music, I realize that I am enjoying R.E.M. in a way I haven't been able to in years. What's happening?

Did you never call? I waited for your call

These rivers of suggestion are driving me away...

....I'm SORR-Y! I'm SORR-Y!

Ryan was behind the counter, pen scribbles and upper-lip-biting concentration, but came to the register when I heaved my stack of records onto the counter.  For the first time in the passage of three mediocre albums, a smile found my lips at the same time R.E.M. escaped them.

"Ryan, I finally know how I feel about R.E.M. breaking up...relieved!"

Dorm room Colleen had a heart-expanding love for a band who created two of its best albums after losing their center, Bill Berry, but college graduate Colleen had to witness them deliver disappointment and unnecessary bombast for seven years.

One of the first albums Ryan lent me was Fables of the Reconstruction. I stalked every record store in P-town filling in my collection of their cds. I remember early R.E.M. albums jangling into my subconcious ("up the stairs to the landing, up the stairs, to the ha-i-wa-ah-aall"!) and humming through my extremities on cold hikes up the hill at Lewis & Clark. The first song I played on my beloved, be-stickered, Panasonic stereo in my dorm was, "Walk Unafraid," my favorite R.E.M. song. It's a song of release, courage, and grace.

R.E.M. and I have seen some highway miles together.

Finally, finally, the weight of R.E.M.'s last albums has been lifted off my shoulders; they are not becoming the next Rolling Stones. They knew they had to call it quits. My heart is filling up with the sweetness of R.E.M.'s songs again...and I've missed them so much.

How can I be
What I want to be?
When all I want to do is strip away
These stilled constraints
And crush this charade
Shred this sad masquerade
I don't need no persuading

Love you, R.E.M. Thanks for being there for me.