Halloween

 

Halloween is a laugh in the face of mortality, the gluttonous consumption of candy a spit on the Grim Reaper's loafers. Still, the spitting's done from behind the eyes of a costume; it's hard to look in the mirror and know time is limited.

This year I raise a toast to River Phoenix, who died on a sidewalk in front of The Viper Room in L.A., a blossoming mortal plucked just in time for All Soul's Day like a handful of marigolds. River overdosed 18 years ago this Halloween.

I was a skinny, bruise-kneed, 12-year-old girl when River was in his prime, but I read about his death in a glossy spread in People magazine and felt sorry for the boy I knew from Indiana Jones. I wasn't familiar with River's heavier movies yet, but he met me at mile-markers in my life like poor Mike from My Own Private Idaho, and is still hitching a ride in my heart.

Today, this Day of the Dead, I give you Grant Lee Buffalo singing our love for River, still fresh in sorrow as we've passed any age he'll ever reach.

You were like my own James Byron Dean

Private Idaho was my East of Eden

Hit me like a stone when I heard you passed on Halloween

Let that full bassline and the golden vocals of Grant carry you, full sadness and ebullient celebration.

Oh, River...

Rock of Ages

I'm a Quaker. This is often easier than saying, "I'm a Christian" because the C-word has developed a number of negative connotations over the last couple millennium...I'm sure you know what I'm talking about: hatred, bigotry, alienation, unflagging dogma...all those things Jesus didn't like so much, and got in a lot of trouble for avoiding and condemning through his actions. Christianity, in many communities, has become embroiled in owning "right," and making sure others know they are firmly "wrong." I want to separate myself from judgment, focus my energy on loving, make sure I am living, acting, and thinking a manner Jesus would like (I'd hesitate at the idea of guessing my batting average).

As a music and word lover, I've found myself uncomfortable with conventional Christian music. I don't like "Christian-ese," and the more folks talk about Christ, often the less I see of Jesus in their actions (this is not always the case, but far too frequently). As Francis of Assisi said, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." When I listen to spiritual music, I want to hear and feel what is really in the hearts of people; I desire authenticity over simplicity, honesty over correctness.

My intention with my "Sunday Song" postings is to share a song that resonates with me as honest and authentic songwriting that acknowledges a higher power...a song that probably won't be heard playing in church.

Kicking it off, a song about feeling ashamed, guilty, and alone. We've all been there, right?

Grant Lee Buffalo- "Rock of Ages" from the album Mighty Joe Moon